It’s a well-established fact that we humans are not born (read manufactured) with user manuals.
Obviously, there was a market opportunity right there. So, for eons now, people have been trying to create user manuals; Right from the epics to the Self-Help genre on the book-shelves and now to pocket-sized suggestions. A-la “7 habits of successful people”; “6 things that millionaires do”; “10 Tips for effective parenting”; “3 magic steps to a healthy living”; 5 tricks for a flat stomach and many such.
But I guess we forgot that every individual is a different model and make and that the user manuals can’t be applicable to all. When you try and change the settings based on these manuals, you’ll either find it working in patches, have ‘error’ messages or a complete system malfunction. After all, ‘To each, his own’!
Self-Help OR Parenting, Life is meant to be ‘lived’ and ‘learnt’ through experience alone.
We can’t learn to swim by staying dry. We’ve got to jump in the water and get wet.
These books and lists only act as a ‘floating device’; Ideal to take a breather during a long swim.
But we have to kick and push to move ahead. We must encourage our kids to do that too.
We have to encourage them to jump, actually push if necessary.

Over-protecting and over-policing the kids in the name of disciplining and not letting them explore LIFE their way – both, at home and at school is only like having screen protectors or fancy cases to our gadgets without focusing on the actual hardware maintenance and performance efficiency.
I’ve overheard or at times been directly asked at work too, if we’re running a school with so many rules and disciplinary policies and micro-management. The root cause can be seen in the parenting styles as a community / country.
Nothing is moved or achieved with simple requests. Things are heard only when it is amplified with drama to the highest level. Be it a kid asking for a toy/food; labourer/ employee demands OR the overall political scenario.
Here’s what’s worked with me, both at home (for myself and as a parent) and at work (as an employee and as a boss). *
Discipline, Perseverance and Patience were some important virtues I had to re-visit in a new ‘Avatar’ or with “New Packaging”. In a mad-rush to attain multi-tasking, the ‘Task’ is ignored and the focus shifts on ability to handle multiplicity – often with compromised or delayed results.
Now, once I’m done with a task, I ask myself if this is my best output for the given task (personal OR professional).
If in the given situation and circumstances, the answer is yes and I am convinced, then I don’t bother about the world.
If I am not convinced about it being the best output, then I keep practicing to ensure I give my best and nothing less.
If it’s not an Eco-system that I enjoy, I don’t stay a victim for too long.
I take responsibility of MY life and put in efforts to change it. It’s that simple!
At work, I encourage my team to do the following on a daily basis:
Try to ‘find an issue’ (Not create but FIND an issue) in the process and ‘kill the issue’.
If they are unable to find one for more than two consecutive days, they are not doing a good job. If they are unable to solve it, they’re obviously expected to escalate. This simple thought process with random checks works wonders.
In a tweaked version, this idea works for kids too. I’ve encouraged my kid to explore something new every day and share it. If I don’t find anything for a few consecutive days, only then do I intervene for course correction. But yet again once done, I let go with random checks.
Explore, Experience, Enrich!
Go ahead and JUMP. Swim ON!
*Disclaimer: Do check your model for compatibility